Lord, I thank you for letting me be part of your story. I thank you for everything that you have given me. You have given me so many hurdles at once and I need strength to over come these. I know there are many things about me that You want to change so please, change me.
I know I will always be disappointed when you are not in the center of my life, my relationships, my everything. Let me be abundant in love and slow to anger.
Thank You for the opportunities you had given me. I felt myself struggle and I felt Your presence. You gave me strength and courage. We are so used to asking someone how their days were. Usually there is a really long list about what has been doing, what has been felt and it just goes on. But what if someone can’t walk, someone who is stuck. Its the same four walls, the same people, the same medication, the same routine. Would you still ask them how their day was?
Lord, you are so gracious. She found peace in You and You gave her strength. Each day we go through life thinking our lives will go on… forever. We focus on our problems, whether it is the money that we don’t have, or the career which we don’t have, or even simply the direction in life in which we don’t have. But we were never meant to be the center of attention. We are so comfortable and so healthy. I sat by her bed and I imagined.
I could never walk again. I was stuck. The only places I will go between were beds. The one I call home, and the hospital bed. I miss the past 86 years of my life, my freedom, my youth. The days I roamed the ground. Occasionally I’ll be in a wheel chair where my feet are so close to it yet not touching. Even if they were, I would feel nothing. I miss my family. My daughters, my grand children, my great grand child. I don’t want to bother them but I miss them so much. This pain that lurks deep in my bone will always be there. The medication helps, but it hinders my thoughts. I forget, I become delusional. There are days where I stare deep into their eyes, but I just can’t remember their names. There are days where I feel like myself again but no one is there. I want to speak but I lack the strength and the words.
But even with all this, it is okay. I love you Lord and I need You. You are my all. You give me the strength and courage to go through every day. You give me purpose, no matter what situation I am in, use me to glorify Your name. It is all about You.